Well I decided to start the first blog post with something engaging. This one is for the married couples or those in a live-in relationship. We’ve all heard different stories concerning marriages, horror stories, fairy tales, farfetched sagas, and what-not. We’ve also heard stories of why couples decide to “shack-up” during their relationship. For example, wanting to be closer, convenience for seeing each other, saving money on rent, etc. But, does this put a strain on the relationship?
The Married Couples
The Married Couples
As far as married couples are concerned, they are traditionally considered to be living together unless separated. Unfortunately, sometimes relationships fizzle after the sizzle and no matter how hard you try; it’s just not working out. This is the phase I like to call “Roommates with Benefits.” Two adults who had a common interest once before under the same roof, but now have little to no interest and are just sticking around for the convenience. Some decide to sleep in separate bedrooms, while others hope something will spark by staying in the same room. In my opinion those who decide to sleep in separate bedrooms have thrown in the towel and have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no way that the two of you can work it out, but yet have nowhere else to go or think it would just rather avoid the subject of divorce or separation. Although there are some couples are who are legally separated who find it easier just to continue living arrangements, but what if you have children involved? What do you tell them?
However, there are couples who decide, “This just isn’t working anymore, but I feel there is a flicker of hope.” I call them the “Wishful Thinking Roommates with Benefits.” They decide they are just not feeling it anymore, but yet decide “let’s stick it out, I know we can get that old wheel rolling.” The question is, how and when do you know that the spark is no longer there? What relationship factors or “symptoms” help you come to this conclusion? All couples come to a down-point in the relationship, every couple argues. By continuing to do your wifely or husbandly duties in a somewhat droll seeming marriage, is that going to put the spark back or would it require more? There are a lot of couples who feel that altering their sex-lives, appearance, or personal values will make the two reconnect. I, for one, believe this is a two-way street. Why should one partner change while the other puts in no effort at all? Why do couples stop “dating” after the marriage? Continuing to date after marriage is important to me. You will continue to grow closer and that bond will be even more unbreakable. Some blame it on financial issues while others simply say “for what?” As far as financial issues, everyone has them. There are plenty of ways to continue dating after marriage, for examples, picnics, candlelight dinners after the children are sleep, family movie nights, just talking to each other (without yelling no matter how upset you get), neighborhood walks or walks in the park, etc. It is a matter of trying.
-Nicci Rae
“Love Yourself, before you try to love someone else.”
